hesitant

i have produced so much in the last weeks. i am in disbelief as if watching someone else, while all my selves past congratulate one another. one standing to the side, watching with distrustful eyes always. won't she walk away someday? push push ahead as if walking not wading.

there will be no avalanche if i hold time in my fist like a stopped heart.

i hold my envy like a bird with injured wing.

i let it fly and it falls.

i am stuck stuck somehow stuck on a nail in this moving picture frame. my life speeds ahead, once more i run behind it like a cat that has stepped out of its skin.