a green penny left too long under an oven

when he says my name it rings like electric shocks and i know he has been listening with his heart turned on i feel guilty that im surprised as if everyone rehearshes and speaks through masks as much as me and he wants what i want and i want what ive always wanted except now its become crucial. time is a nasty mother and doesnt forgive. i couldnt identify the bird and he said woodpecker no i said too fat and no crown he said you would be surprised and i had to admit that i was wrong which happens far too often i need to stop being so god damn stubborn. the last thing i want to be is a bad loser. i want to be graceful always though i never am not like her who seems to want it as badly except it comes more naturally. ive let it go though, now. i am disappointed by my own past build ups about writers which i let down now and let go free like beads off a string bouncing all over the kitchen floor. all the best there is room for others and maybe room for me.